1. RSVP. This is so important that it bears repeating. RSVP! Couples plan based on their budget and the number of people attending is a huge piece of the decision-making. They must order chairs, linens, favors, and give a count to the caterer. You don’t need to wait until the RSVP deadline if you already know whether or not you can attend. Sometimes couples have more people they would like to invite than they have space. RSVPing early that you cannot attend early helps them include others. As the Planner, I often make phone calls to the guests who have not responded by the due date. A phrase that we sometimes joke about is, “Bring a chair and a sandwich” if you don’t RSVP. Seriously, just do it!
2. Be on Time. Walking up to the ceremony site at 1:55 PM for a 2 PM ceremony is not being on time. Wedding days operate on a timeline and when the ceremony has to start late because there are still guests walking toward the chairs, it causes more elements of the day to run behind. You don’t want your dinner dried out because the caterer had to hold the food too long and you certainly don’t want the couple to stress as they peek out at many empty chairs. Plan some buffer time in case you have to park further away from the venue than you think you will.
Photo Credit: Kate Donaldson Photography
3. Sign the Guest Book. Couples have found some unique ways to record who shared their special day. Be sure you are part of it! If you are running a bit behind, skip this, be seated, and come back during cocktail hour.
4. Come Prepared. Outdoor ceremony? Sunscreen, bug repellent wipes, and a bottle of water in your bag will make your experience more enjoyable. Wear shoes appropriate for the ground. Heels on Wedding Rock is an accident waiting to happen. Many outdoor venues in Humboldt do not have level grassy areas and often there are holes that make it tricky to navigate in heels. Bring a sweater or wrap for later during the reception. Weather can change and you don’t want to have to leave early because you are cold!
Photo Credit: Elizabeth Borges Photography
5. Do NOT bring anyone that was not invited. These celebrations are costly. You may think one extra person doesn’t matter. It does. Couples rent chairs, dishware, etc., order food, and order/make favors based on the number of people who have RSVPed. Venues also have a fire capacity. Simply put, it’s disrespectful to the couple to bring extra people.
6. Children. Don’t assume your children are invited. If the invitation does not include their names or “and family” and you are unsure, ask. There are several reasons why they may not be. Cost, venue on a river or beach, couple choosing an adult-only experience, etc. Please respect their decision.
7. Children Part 2 . If your children are invited, please supervise them at all times! We have seen fingers poked in the wedding cake, crying infants during the ceremony, children wandering off to the river and too close to BBQ’s and fire pits, etc. Remember that even if young children are invited to your co-worker’s wedding, YOU may have a better time if the kids are left with a babysitter. And your kids may have a better time, too!
8. Listen to the Officiant. After the couple and wedding party recess, the officiant often gives instructions to the guests. This is often the time that additional photos are taken and the guests head to the cocktail hour area. Allowing the photographer to get to work right away means the couple will join you sooner and the real party can get started!
Photo Credit: Kate Donaldson Photography
9. Dinner. Generally, the couple eats first. The DJ or planner will let you know when guests are invited to join the buffet line. Typically, the wedding party and family follow the couple, then tables will be released one by one. It may not necessarily be Table 1, Table 2, 3, 4, etc. When we release tables, we try to get families with hungry little ones fed early. If there are guests with walkers or wheelchairs, we consider traffic flow. So, what looks out of order to you probably isn’t.
10. Dessert. Many couples choose to have a small cutting cake and dessert bar, often cupcakes. Specialty cupcakes can be costly and often enough are ordered for each guest to have one. One. Be sure that everyone has the opportunity for one before you load up your plate. We’ve seen many receptions where cupcakes were gone before everyone had the chance. AFTER dinner is when dessert is served. They may look good but no sneaking cupcakes early!
